My Spirit Guide

spiritual journey

This is my story the tale of how I ended up at this point in my life. I’ve broken it down into sections so when you’re bored you can skip to whatever!

For those of you that aren’t familiar with Spiritualism I’m quite normal really, well most of the time anyway!

I just ask that you keep an open mind. You’ll find links to a few interesting website along the way for those that are interested.

This article was written more than 10 years ago.  Much has changed since then.


The Beginning

Born in 1952 in Birmingham I was bought up Church of England although Dad was Methodist. In my teens Mom turned to Spiritualism and eventually became a Clairvoyant Medium her first time on the Platform being at ASH the Association of Spiritualists and Healers. Each of us 4 children was left to make our own choices as to what religion we chose if any.

I think it’s true to say I was the least ‘religious’ of all of us. Over the years I had ‘messages’ from the platform via other Mediums asking Mom when her daughter was going to begin. All of these I shrugged off. Despite a strong belief in Spirit and the afterlife there was way too much going on in my life to think about that! With a busy career in computing and later teaching, Spiritualism was the last thing on my mind.

My Interest In Clairvoyance Grows

By 1997 at the age of 45 and living in Derbyshire I first became ill with ME a debilitating illness causing overwhelming fatigue pain and ‘mental fog’. Eventually accepting there was no miracle cure and adjusting my lifestyle to fit I closed the small post office I had just bought. As time passed I learned to ‘control’ my illness with lots of rest each day. In September 2001 bored and with time on my hands but not enough energy to do anything with it I bumped into an old friend who happened to be going to Swadlincote Spiritualist Church that night. I went that night and 2 or 3 times more over the next couple of weeks. I’d gone occasionally over the years but mainly for entertainment. Some mediums were good, others not so good. I carried on going feeling compelled but never sure why. During this time I got closer to Mom ringing each week to tell her what the medium had been like.

Why Now?

The first medium I saw at Swadlincote told me both of my granddads were stood behind me and gave me their names. I thought this very strange and perhaps unlikely as my dads father had passed before I was born even Mom hadn’t known him. I had to ask just to confirm the name.

Just 10 weeks after I’d started going late November Dad suddenly passed away without warning a heart attack.

To this day I remain totally convinced that I was drawn in at time when I needed my beliefs to be rock solid. Had it not been for those 10 weeks I doubt I would have handled it well at all. I don’t think I realised then how much the Spirit world had begun to draw close around me.

Mom told a funny story about Dad who had never been a believer. When she’d asked him a few weeks earlier what religion she should put for him on a form he replied ‘Spiritualist of course’. This coming from a man that had sat outside after driving Mom to services unless obliged to go in when the weather was bad! He then went on to say he had seen an Indian and described what he had seen to Mom.

I grieved of course but knowing Dad was ok was a great source of comfort and I thanked the Spirit world for drawing me in when I needed it. Little did I know there was much more to come both in my development and bereavement.

My First Clairvoyant Message

Now when I say Clairvoyant I am not strictly speaking being truthful. I should perhaps say Clairauidient. I was lying down resting one day when a voice in my head clearly said Tell Jackie just to hold him until the pain goes away!” Gob smacked I rang Mom who said exactly what I expected her to say. I had to pass the message on.

The problem was I only knew one Jackie and she was only a passing acquaintance. Feeling very embarrassed I passed the message on and was mortified when she said it meant nothing to her. I had to wait 3 more weeks before I bumped into her again to find out that her young son had been rushed into hospital seriously ill. They never did find out the cause but he recovered on his own.

Now the Spirit World had my attention!

Looking for Help

Over the next year or so I read researched went on courses looked for circles to join. The circles never seemed to keep going for long. Some were good some not so good.

I remain eternally grateful to Annie Milnes-Howard of the School of Spiritual Knowledge who along with my Mom June Cardall provided me with a good down to earth base for all that was to follow.

Later help came from Gilly Wilmot School of Channelling.  Joan Hughes a good friend and membership secretary for the Noah’s Ark Society for Physical Mediumship and last but not least Pat and Paddy Sterrett of ASH the Association for Spiritualists and Healers.

Yet still I didn’t realise that the guidance I needed would come from Spirit when the time was right.

My Spirit Guides

Like everyone else I was desperate to know who my Spirit guides were. I was getting messages left right and centre but I had no idea where they were coming from. Those whose views I trusted most were telling me to keep it simple what did it matter who my guide/guides were. Some would say they would show themselves in manner that I could accept if I pushed the issue – it wouldn’t necessarily be what they were really like in Spirit. Mom told me once that as I developed I would start to notice an amazing number of co-incidences. Shortly after I listened to Deepak Chopra on the subject of Synchronicity & Synchrodestiny. Since then I’ve been a firm believer.

Eventually I tried a meditation exercise and quite determinedly asked my current guide to show him or herself. Up until then the only name I’d ever got had been Helen or Ellen I could never be sure. Now I was clearly shown a tap which then turned on and water poured out. It took me a while to connect this to “Running Water” whereupon a large Native American showed himself.

Now it’s not that I wasn’t grateful but I was so cynical about this that I convinced myself that I’d imagined it. Mom assured me that if it was real I would get confirmation if I was patient. Patient? Me? No chance!

A week earlier I’d been trying to find a copy of Ivy Northage’s book While I Remember. Ivy who died in 2002 had been a guiding influence years before when Mom first started and I have her original audio course from many years ago entitled “How to become a Medium”.

Now my interest was reading about physical mediumship (along with anything and everything I could get to learn about). Someone kindly loaned me a copy of Ivy’s book.

Imagine my surprise on reading it to hear her tell of a séance in which a guide called Running Water materialised. Was this the confirmation I awaited?

Later I was to have a Chinese gentleman who sent me on a wild goose chase. Under instruction from Paddy Sterrett one evening I insisted on knowing all about him. The following day convinced the hat he wore wasn’t in keeping with rest I’d seen I duly looked up on the net what I could. Surprised to find all was right including the area he lived in once I was disappointed to find that the hat wasn’t in keeping much as I’d suspected.

On questioning him when he came again he laughed and said ‘You would keep insisting on a closer look at my headgear. I wasn’t wearing a hat so I put one on to please you!‘ That lesson and his knowing smile taught me a lot.

Nowadays my guide is simply Helen. Nothing fancy no air and graces no royalty or Spiritual Archetypes just Helen and help from my Mom. Others pop in now and again when needed and this may change over time but for the moment I am content to let whatever is be just that. I know I have some-one new with me for the Psychic Art but I am happy to bide my time with this exciting new phase of my development.

My Beliefs

First let me say that I am interested in other peoples beliefs. I think that each and every one us finds ‘God’ in his or her own way.

I believe there are different versions of the same truth in most religions Buddhism Catholicism Wicca and many many more.

I believe in re-incarnation and that we are put this earth many times evolving and learning until we eventually ‘get it right’.

I believe we have one main Spirit Guide and others that help when needed.

I believe that the chances of any one individual or faith having all the answers is nigh on impossible. We aren’t meant to have all the answers and many things we have to interpret as best we can as we have no means of understanding what awaits beyond this life while we are here on earth.

I believe in a God force but perhaps not as I was taught to think of him at school.

I believe we are all part of a collective consciousness.

I believe I could well be wrong about any or all of the above.

The Final Proof

In March 2003 along with rest of my family I was shocked when Mom passed to Spirit 8 days before her 74th birthday. Having been given a clean bill of health for possible heart problems and then discharged from hospital 6 weeks later she was back in this time in intensive care and a week later she had gone. Now more than ever I was convinced that Spirit had known exactly the right time for me to begin my journey. With Mom and Dad passing so unexpectedly in 18 months I would never have coped.

Even in hospital 2 months earlier Mom was working with Spirit giving readings to the nurses. One day as I massaged her feet (she suffered with them cracking from diabetes) I joked “When you get to the other side Mom you’ll have to come back and say thanks for doing my feet”. We had a good laugh as the woman in the next bed nearly choked on her tea listening to us.

Mom was very close to her father my granddad who had passed years earlier and as we waited in hospital those last few days I knew both she and I expected Granddad to come for her when the time came. As the final hours approached I went to talk to the consultant leaving my sister to sit with Mom who was now unconscious. When I returned my sister said Mom had been talking in her sleep. As the final moments came and the monitors sounded to my amazement I felt Nan’s presence and smelled her face powder. I told my sister ‘Nan’s come for her’. I was surprised because I’d expected it to be Granddad. Later my sister told me that while I was out of the room Mom had been calling to Nan ‘in her sleep’.

Mom was cremated 8 days later on her 74th birthday 2nd April 2003. At her funeral Paddy Sterrett described her as the most spiritual person he had ever known.

The next two months passed in a bit of a haze then in June Joan Hughes and Jan Dayton gave a demonstration of clairvoyance and psychic art at the local church. Afterwards Joan asked if I would like to see Jan for a private reading. After an hour although the reading was very good I realised I was almost holding my breath wondering if I would get proof beyond doubt that it was Mom that had come through. I remember asking Joan the week before did she think it was too soon for Mom to be in touch. Sure I still talked to her but I didn’t dare hope that she would come through to me.

As the reading drew to a close I remember Jan asking me was there anything I wanted to ask before she finished. I muttered something about there being one thing Mom and I had talked about and I felt foolish as I could see the pressure I’d put Jan under with such a request.

Just as Jan was apologising and saying that’s all she could get her hand reaching out to turn of the tape she stopped and told me the lady I was sure was Mom had just popped back in. She then went on to say “and this lady’s pointing to her feet‘!. Like a fool all I could do was cry.

Click to hear a clip.   [soundy button]

Psychic Art Starts Here!

By now I had joined ASH a member of the Monday night circle and web site manager. Joan Hughes and I began running Pathway to Spirit workshops to raise funds for ASH.

They were a roaring success and late January 2004 we organised a Psychic Art Workshop. Taking the course was Psychic Artist Jan Dayton who had given me the proof I very much needed just 3 months after Mom had passed.

Now let me say straight away at this point I had no interest whatsoever in art of any description. In fact my efforts to draw for my granddaughter were so woeful it caused great hilarity in the family. However I’m not the best of people to be let loose in a kitchen and I was feeling very tired going through a bad patch with my illness. So I joined the course more to get out of the washing up than anything. At least I could sit and snooze or so I thought.

Now let me say up front that my efforts that day were pretty feeble. What struck me strongly was the overwhelming urge I had to shade and smudge once I’d finished. This improved my efforts no end. Now please believe me when I say at this point they were still pretty sad looking but I went home feeling that Spirit had given me an important message.

I recalled couple of months earlier when I was privileged to be present at a channelling by Gilly Wilmot of the School of Channelling. During that channelling I was given advice that I should make space in my life for something new to come in.

Now a small seed had been planted in my mind.

Later that night I talked to my husband and tried to draw something. Disaster! In short I was singularly unimpressed and let the whole feeling go.

The Final Nudge

January 31st 2004 I was helping out at ASH on a readings day where short readings are given as tasters a sort of ‘open day’. It was quiet and I took the opportunity to have a short reading with Paddy Sterrett. During this reading my mothers grandmother came through and one of the things she mentioned was the fact that by September I would be doing psychic art. Now Paddy knew nothing of what had happened so far. I was a member of Paddy’s circle and Paddy usually knows which direction his circle members are heading in. One of the circle was leaning towards psychic art but I had never been able to produce anything at all nor was I remotely interested. So this came as quite a surprise to both Paddy and myself.

If I still needed convincing the last nudge came when I told my sister. She dug out of the family chest some psychic portraits that Mom had gathered over the years. When they landed on my desk at the top of the pile was a portrait of my mothers grandmother (drawn by Wilf Masefield) the very person that had come through via Paddy to set me on my path!

Click here to see what happened the first time I tried a portrait.

My Aims In Life

Nowadays my aims are simple:

To work for Spirit

To find the right balance between my Spiritual work and the rest of my life.

To trust Spirit to guide me where I need to go.